I had every intention of posting more, I did. I have been putting some outfits on my Facebook page and Instagram still so be sure to follow me there. But honestly life has been tough lately. Having to completely change what I thought life was going to look like hasn’t been easy. At first I felt a sense of freedom, having finally made a hard decision, and there is definitely a freedom that comes from doing whatever you want, whenever you want again. But then the sadness, loneliness, and fear sets in. It is scary, I’m not going to lie. I can’t help but wonder if I will ever find someone to love me again, and dating here isn’t easy. Just ask all my fabulous and beautiful single girlfriends. But you get through each day and hope that each one is easier than the next. I’m very lucky to have lots of wonderful and supportive girlfriends here and around the country, some of them having been in my shoes and come out the other end better than before. My cousin went through a very similar situation to mine and is on the other end of Facebook messenger for me almost daily, reminding me it won’t feel this bad forever. She encouraged me to maybe even blog about it, so here I am : )
I felt before I sort of glossed over things, just wanting to move forward, but of course it is never that easy. And I share my life here so felt it was time to open up a bit more. Maybe some of you have been through or are going through similar situations.
I’ve dipped my toe back in the dating pool a bit and so far I’ve found one guy I really liked who sent me a very lame text ending things after we discovered he was deathly allergic to my cat. Awesome. Like throat closing up allergic. It was crushing to feel that hopeful and see it all end with a text. I’ve also been “catfished” – pretty sure the pictures he used were at least 10 years old. Most have been fine but no sparks. I have made friends through one date with another divorcee though, reminded me it can be nice to have male friends that aren’t just your husband’s friends. And so it goes…
Going into the holidays single for the first time in 8 years is daunting. I have my sorority holiday party tonight that one of my gay besties is attending with me, god bless him. But then I have to hit the work party solo when most people are coupled up and it feels less than awesome.
So that’s where I’m at right now! I’m really hoping once the holidays pass my spirits will lift and I will find the motivation I need to get back at it. Or who knows, maybe the holiday spirit will catch on sooner than later, or at least the sales : )
On a positive note I’m still loving my new place, and Coco is very happy and settled in. Work is going really well and I’m happy to have a place to go each day with awesome co-workers.
I really appreciate you all for following along with my sporadic posting, and your supportive comments mean a lot.